My Life in the Sea Org
|My Life in the Sea Org|
Life in the Sea Organization From 1985 till 2007
A very personal view and experience.
Well, like any story real or imagined, mine has its beginning. How did itall start? It was July 30 1985 when I first arrived to the European Sea Org base where my experience was about to take its course. I had recently read almost every book available at the time in Italian on the subject of Dianetics and Scientology, I had tested the basic procedures, found them to be workable and practical, so being completely fascinated by the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, decided to dedicate my life to help others by joining the Sea Organization ranks. It wasn't very difficult for the recruiter to close me; I had already made up my mind before he knew me at all.
So next day I was doing my basic educational training called Product zero. It consists of according to the teachings, of orienting a new member into the Sea Organization and increasing his abilities to confront MEST (Matter, Energy, Space, and Time) in their various aspects one runs into them in life. It included cleaning spaces, renovating etc. followed by a five hours period of study about the Sea Organization and its basic policies. My first impact was a bit shocking, when I was shown the premises of the place, and the berthing facilities. It wasn't what I had envisioned but a very poor image, but I wasn't going to give up just because of an ugly looking building and definitely not presentable berthing facilities, so I did my part and eventually completed my product zero in about four weeks.
Mind you, I had forgotten to tell you that since my reading of the book one of Dianetics, I had made a firm decision to become an auditor and a very best one of them. Having completed that introductory step I was briefly sent down to Milano to help a fellow staff member named Rico Loringett, who was down there to find customers for the services offered by the organization. In that occasion I had another unexpected surprise, when I was shown were I was supposed to sleep, at the then offices in Cormano, near Milano, there was an empty room and a mattress on the bare floor. I was again shocked, wondering to myself, what the hell is the matter here?
In 25 years of my life I had never seen such a disgrace yet that was supposed to be the elite group I had decided to join so eagerly. I tried to ignore what it could just be a mere unfortunate coincidence of an office being moved from a place to another and me being there at the wrong time.
The next day I meet this fellow staff member, he was simply contacting customers and selling church services sort of speak. After a couple of weeks of me being there, I was informed that I had been selected to go to Flag for training. Flag is the highest training Sea organization on the whole planet. I was very excited; it was like a privilege for me thinking I was soon going to become an auditor, just as I had planned. However that wasn't yet to happen, my own Organization, known as AOSH EU+AF at the time, had selected me for some other training, merely that of course supervisor, so I could train others. I was a bit disappointed, having no interest for that with the idea I wasn't good at all in training people. I knew I could learn things rapidly, but it was another thing when I tried to explain the subject to others, they simply couldn't get it, yet it seemed so simple to me.
Upon expressing my concern on the above, I was told not to worry as I wasn't going to explain anything, but would learn how to do it properly. So, I began to get ready for my first journey to Florida and find out in person what Flag was all about. It's called “The mecca of technical perfection” and I was more than just curious about it. So I got hold of a visa for entering the US and within few days I was for the very first time in America!
Despite being October 10 1985, it was very hot and humid at the Tampa Airport. I got a cab and went to Clearwater. There another surprise hit my face. The berthing facilities were horrific, even if they were rooms in the Forth Harrison, which at the time was undergoing renovations. I seemed to get too often in unpleasant room and board services of rather poor quality, yet I was part of the elite corps of the Sea Organization. It didn't quite add up, but it seemed not very important. So I began my training for which my own organization in Europe, was supposed to pay the senior organization of FSO (the Flag Service Organization).
From October 85 till March 86 I did a basic training which enabled me to become a course supervisor. I also received some processing from other students so it seemed to make me feel better and I was happy with it. Upon completion of my training line up I managed to return to my own base in Copenhagen. I was rapidly posted as the staff course supervisor and began to work at it. Another odd surprise upon returning to my berthing in Denmark was the fact that my luggage bag which I had stored in my berthing before leaving to the US, had been tampered with and someone had stolen personal belongings.
It was much unexpected as it was a church, but somebody robbed me. While getting familiar with my new post and berthing spaces, I had noticed that the food was so poor and unpleasant to eat that I had to use personal money to cope with it.
For security reasons someone had to stay on Watch duties all night long and when it came my turn I noticed that there was no logic preparation for a whole night long having to stay awake and alert. I give you an example, when I was in my military service, if I was on watch duty, I could go to sleep in between and so be properly set up for the actual time on duty. Well I'd have expected a similar thing, but it wasn't so. After having been on post all day long on Fridays, I was then supposed to stay all night long awake till next morning when the next guy will replace me. Needless to say, it was very hard to stay awake watching a monitor showing the locked up gate. Anyway, believe it or not, nothing was going to discourage me, but I had a brief moment of crisis.
It was not so easy to run a course room of staff members and particularly at the beginning when almost nobody would show up for study and the so called Executives where not an exception. According to the study Tech, as taught by LRH, they all were blown students full with misunderstood words. After a few months at it, I began to wonder if I had done the right thing, I felt as if I was wasting my time, I didn't train as an auditor and I was becoming more and more unhappy with the whole scene. So I decided I'd take a break and think it over. Unbeknownst to anybody else, I prepared my luggage and left the place to return home, in my beloved Sardinia. My fiance was rather surprised to see me, I had factually abandoned her upon my departure in July 85 with the idea that she'd eventually graduate the university and eventually join me later. That never happened of course. The next day I got a call from the so called chaplain which informed me that I was to return to the base right away or I'd get declared as a suppressive person. I had no clue of the so called severity of my action and most certainly didn't want to be declared by any means. I became more and more nervous and even my girlfriend noticed I wasn't happy at all despite being with her. That definitely proved to her she wasn’t ever going to join me in my new lifestyle.
After a week or so I returned to the base in Denmark and had to get sorted out with my status. I decided to stay, believing it was more important than anything else at the time. Shortly after, my girlfriend split up from me and told me so during a phone call. I was rather upset, but still convinced I was doing the right thing. In the following months, I began to train myself as an auditor, using my daily study time. That was what I wanted most, so regardless of anything else I focused on that point. Meanwhile, I got to know a very nice girl who came for services and in a very short time I became attracted to her. We became friends and in a couple of occasions I kissed her. I was so naive, I felt like being in love, I was so happy, I even told my sister about it over the phone. My happy moment however, wasn't going to last very long. She was not a member of the Sea Organization and we were not supposed to have any form of affection that would lead into creating a relationship. I felt I had kept my hands clean so I wasn't much worried about consequences, but our happy moments had to cease, so they did. Eventually another female staff member noticed me and having had a similar sentimental upset of her own, we began to share our feelings which resulted in her coming to a point of wanting to marry me. I wasn't in love with her even if she was a nice person, plus she already had a baby girl and the father had deserted both. I couldn't imagine me becoming a husband and a father all at once. Funny enough, I did exactly that; I married her, and adopted the child, a very beautiful one indeed.
As we went along in our relationship and so forth, we both discovered the fact of having known each other already. In other words for those who know the subject and have some personal reality on having lived before, we both recalled some common incidents and in a particular touchy moment, while having dinner at a restaurant in Copenhagen, I recalled her name from the previous life and wrote it down on her towel without saying anything. She busted into tears the moment she read that, knowing well what it meant.
Anyway, life went on with very little to no pay at all for week after week, it came to a point I had to use my savings from my account in Italy. I recall feeling ashamed, I was still fascinated by the technology, but I was very unhappy with the living conditions, but managed to keep it quiet and never mentioned to outsiders as it'd be bad promotion for my team and the Sea Organization. Additionally a new issue came out which denied the possibility of having children in the Sea organization, in other words, if a new baby was conceived after that point, either one had to abort the child or leave the Sea organization. I’ve, never believed that to be based on any LRH policy and I still am convinced that to be the case, but protesting such things is not viewed too well within the organization. I was upset about it, as I wanted at least a son of mine in addition to the one I had adopted with the marriage. At one point, the local schedule, which was already very demanding, was deprived of what used to be called “Parents time” as it was about 1 hour a day, to be dedicated to the kids, for whoever was a parent. It was very unpopular as it meant, no kid could see their parents except very early in the morning as by the time we'd return home, never before 22.30, they were all in bed asleep. No further comment is necessary for any reader who happens to be a parent too.
However my desire to become a very skilled auditor was enough to make all the rest seem unimportant. With that urge, I rapidly trained myself as class IV auditor and much more while still posted as supervisor. Based on service delivery needs from the Organization, I held different course Supervisor posts regardless of my original dislike for it. The time was going by, yet my own Organization executive body wouldn't pay very much attention to my request of wanting to be an auditor. One evening at a weekly staff meeting I expressed my disappointment for it to the rest of the crew. Nothing changed despite the above and I was getting more and more stuck in a post which wasn't what I really came for. Sometime later, I became so upset that I decided to route out, pay for my own training and eventually return if anybody was interested in having an auditor on staff. I went to see the chaplain about it all, without mentioning it to anybody else, according to internal policy. He managed to convince me to stay with the idea that he'd get my request listened to. After some time a new technical evolution came about, which in turn, got me again stuck in another course supervisor duty. It seemed like an unreachable goal, but nevertheless still desirable enough to nullify all the counter-intentions.
So I did the New Pro TRs evolution, for those not familiar, it's a course which teaches the handling of communication in all its facets and for a professional use as an auditor. That was in 1989 I recall, I became famous with my students getting through the processing step done at the clay table. Some still remember me after 20 years with praise. Finally, a new person joined staff and there was a possibility that I could turn over my post to him. That happened eventually, after he got trained for the job, however, because of a silly mistake he made, which resulted in the course room being set on fire by accident, he was rapidly removed. Anyway my persistence came to fruition and having trained as much as the other posted auditors, I finally earned my new post, I was an HGC auditor. That was the year 1991. I was happy and began to practice with excitement and in a relatively short time I could produce as much as the top colleagues. The time went by and I was definitely getting many persons through the required steps of the route outlined by LRH, towards higher conditions of spiritual awareness.
My clients were happy and satisfied of their personal experience in the sessions I had given them. I started to consider that perhaps it was also my time to move through the Bridge steps and find out what the OT levels were all about. I was sure I had deserved that privilege. So, I arranged for a co-audit with a fellow auditor and it was a relatively smooth ride up to the point of earning my invitation to OT I.
I enjoyed my personal experience and became adept at auditing myself on whatever processes is part of that level and I completed it. Then I went to the next level OT II. For these who have done it, I mention a sort of peculiar experience, following a goof made by the in charge of the Solo section. He gave me the subject to be addressed in session, before I was actually in the auditing room and It activated the process instantly to a point that when I was holding the electrodes to start the session, it was almost impossible to keep the needle from reacting. I followed the instructions and in due time I completed also that very peculiar level. Finally it came the time for the most mysterious level known as OT III or The Wall of Fire. I learned my materials and began my practical application and it seemed very interesting indeed.
By then I was getting better and better at my post, then a new surprise arose. It was about June 1994 and each organization had to send someone to Flag for the training on the revised version of the CCRD materials (A specific rundown designed to establish whether or not one had validly achieved the state of Clear).
I had the pleasure to know a very pleasant person who was in charge of the evolution, Mr. Dan Koon. He's well known for having been with LRH and particularly for being the model of the Technical training film known as TR4 the Pro Trs film. How did that relate to me? I'll tell you just in a moment. For the above project, the org had to send a Class IX auditor and a course Supervisor. The class IX got named, but it seemed a bit difficult to name a course Supervisor for the job, and guess who got named? I couldn't believe it myself when I was told, they wanted me to go!
I was already an experienced Professional course supervisor and regardless of now being on post as an HGC auditor, somebody got the bright idea to send me! I didn't want to go, it meant I had to be away from my family for God knows how long and didn't like the idea at all, besides the fact that I didn't want to go back and be again a course supervisor. Needless to say, I ended up doing it, merely for duty reasons rather than pleasure. So I embarked on my next trip to Flag with a colleague of mine. I did what I was supposed to do, and thank God I was in the middle of my OT III auditing, so I had a very good excuse not to be held at FSO for years to train there on a new line up being piloted. After one month I was back home, meaning to my own organization and I supervised the delivery of the new course as mentioned above. It wasn't a long evolution, so I was happy to resume my official post of HGC auditor. The excitement didn't last very long.